Think I Could Market These?

I'm not sure where the quote originated; Weight Watchers maybe. You've heard it before: Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Thin Feels

Yeah, until a slice of White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake comes to the table. Or a box of Girl Scout Cookies. And those crack-glazed Krispy Kreme's.....

Sorry. I'm back now.

Unfortunately, that quote has never done it for me. Maybe if my Fairy Godmother would grant me a week to live as a bikini-wearing size 2, I could appreciate it a little more. What better way to get America into shape than to give them a taste of the good life, then snatch it away. Not unlike a crack dealer.

No, that quote doesn't motivate me.

Here's what I want on my refrigerator magnet:
Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Hit On Feels

And for those unattached, uninhibited people:
Nothing Tastes As Good As Casual Sex Feels

UPHEAVAL - A Rant

A very awkward looking word, especially in all caps.

In five weeks, my predictable little life will change in big, big ways. And not on my terms. That may be the biggest thing, the fact that I had minimal control over all this.

And of course, since it all revolves around my work, I can't really be specific. It's like I'm losing my job, but not exactly. It will be the same, except for the people, location and challenges.

Too many decisions to make in too short a span of time.
This has definitely become a case of Scarlett Syndrome.

Despite a scouting trip earlier this month, there's still no apartment in sight. Finding a place to live from across the country, with only the internet as your guide and no family or friends in the new area, sucks. Actually, it's just asinine, and I'm mad at my company for putting me in a position that requires I do this in less than 2 months. If it weren't across the country, 2 months would not be as much of a problem. But now we're down to 5 weeks. And counting. I can't find any decent services either, so it's just me and my monitor, in between working and cleaning and packing.

I'm beginning to think Miami is worse than LA. It seems just as big and spread out with it's subdivisions, but with significantly less apartments. Over 25 complexes and not a one-bedroom apartment available. Even if there was, I'd have to pay between $75 and $125 dollars JUST TO APPLY. It's practically impossible to rent from a private owner without meeting them first, because they want to see you face to face, and I respect that. But in a couple more weeks I'm going to be looking at the EconoLodge and U-Store-It for their rates.

Rant over. For now.

Influential

If we don't stop personifying animals, I will be forced into vegetarianism. Then again, people talk to, feed and tend to their plants also..... There's no winning is there?
Damn animated feature films.

For those of you unfamiliar with California dairy commercials, check out the Happy Cows. I'll also miss the Jack-In-The-Box commercials, since Florida is sorely lacking in creepy children's toy food franchises. There are some really excellent commercials in their series, I just couldn't find them online. Way more personality than Ronald, and definitely hotter than The King.

Also, their breakfast is served All. Day. Long.

There Was A Time When I Knew Nothing About What I'm Writing This Post On

The holodeck is pretty cool. Better than the replicator or the phaser.

However, it completely creeps me out when one of the characters ends a program and the room goes to it's basic grid pattern. There is no way in hell I'd stand in that room without a program running.

Admit it, that room looks freaky when not in use. It could be it's representation of endless possibilities, but I'm going with sci-fi, techno sterility.

Eww

The Sneeze

He eats things so you don't have to.

He eats things you'd never consider.

I hope.

Introducing: My New Theme Song (Maybe)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Miami uh uh
South Beach bringin the heat uh
Haha can y’all feel that
Can y’all feel that
Jig it out uh

Chorus

Party in the city where the heat is on
All night on the beach till the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Buenvenidos a Miami
Bouncin in the club where the heat is on
All night on the beach till the break of dawn
I’m goin to Miami
Welcome to Miami

How exactly does one "Jig it out" anyway?
And is it legal in Dade County?

Use It or Lose It

Sometimes, when I click on the link for my blog I have a few seconds of fear. There's this irrational expectation that someone will have defaced my blog in the night. Tagging it, spray painting inappropriate messages and lewd caricatures. Maybe just a virtual post-it note saying You Suck.

I'm really waiting for the Condemned sign.
Or a Notice of Eviction.