Brought To You By....

Let's face it, any place as hot, humid and overgrown as Florida will spawn all manner of expletive-worthy creepy crawlies. After (cough) years as a resident, I'm still not accustomed to the bird-sized mosquitoes you nickname as they feast, the palmetto bugs that show off their 4 ft wingspan as you approach.

However, I've managed to abide by the Usurper Treaty of Long Long Ago, protecting myself with the Live and Let Live, Unless You Scare Me clause of Section B, Part 2. I'm also a big fan of the Leave No Bug Behind Program. If there are no bugs left, who can scurry back and tell the rest of the army what just went down?

With the summer comes the bugs. And swarming, flying, stinging baddies too. Luckily our pest control is pretty good at the apartment. Or so I thought. (cue dramatic music)

As these stories often start, I was just sitting here, minding my own business (and yours, because I've been doing a little blog-hopping tonight) when I detected movement on the wall across from the desk. Blending easily in the shadows thrown by little desk lamp, was a spider. A very big spider. A very spastic, apparently caffeinated spider the size of my fist, scurrying around like it had disco fever.
Or Restless Leg Syndrome.

We're not talking Daddy Longlegs size either. This was a full on "Bob-Put-the-Kids-in-the-Mini-Van" sized spider. The kind you don't dare take your eyes off of until you absolutely have to because you know as soon as you look away it's going to hide somewhere you can't find it and come in the night to carry you into the Forbidden Forest.

Luckily, we had the Ultra SpyderMate 3000 within easy reach. That's right, this model is lighter, faster and easier to clean than the previous 2200 model. The Ultra SpyderMate 3000 (known as the Evercare Large Lint Roller in some locations) makes bug killing a dignified process. The sticky tape makes quick work of the offending pest while the 3 ft reach of the handle provides a neutral buffer zone. Just keep a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser handy. Because, you know.... residue.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to play find the spider before I can fall asleep tonight. These types always travel in pairs.