Cross Your Fingers!

Everyone should know a lawyer. And a mechanic. Wouldn't hurt to have a plumber in the family either.

Each generation should have a family ceremony where the newest parents pull occupations out of Tupperware and promise to produce a doctor, dentist, electrician, whatever requirement their children won in the lottery.

"You know my sister is going to get the oncologist and our little Jenny is going to be an exterminator."
"At least now I know why your Cousin Bob is the way he is. Your parents generation went all hippie and put things like 'moonshiner' and 'mime' and 'medicinal gardener' in the mix."

Arranged marriages are so passe. Arranged careers, now there's the way to control your children's lives to your benefit.

if e.e. cummings had a foot fetish?

I see this billboard everyday now. Any theories?

Guilty On All Counts

Yes, it was on YouTube and Today and I'm sure I missed a post one of you guys did which started a great dialogue in the comments section, but the first I heard about this was in an email. Finally, a fwd worth opening. My concern now is the amount of money I'll spend on iTunes tonight, downloading songs I'll have to turn off at every toll booth.

Like a high school dance without the crepe paper, dyed-to-match-heels and bad hair.

Chiseled In Stone

Tropical Depression #1
Lovely.

30 days and we are so gone!
Well, you can't really be out of the projected path unless you leave the state and it's neighbors entirely, but I'll take the upper middle.
And it only cost us an extra $1000 to do it.
Damn lease agreements.
Damn corporate real estate departments.

The To-Do List
Storage Rental
Mover Estimates
Truck Rental Reserve
Close Out New Job #1
Fill out Apartment Apps
Secure Roof Over Head
Cancel Utilities
Inquire on DSL/Cable
Renter's Insurance
Hurricane Preparedness
Start Drinking
Car Maintenance
Re-pack Home
Start New Job #2

And in the middle of all this, my sisters are organizing a surprise party for my mom's birthday. The biggest surprise? Her birthday is in August. It's a 50 days before her 50th birthday surprise party, and I am in charge of getting her there.

She's going to kill me.

Guess I can add "Write Epitaph" to the list.

Woke Up This Morning

Twelve hours should be plenty of time to recharge the batteries, even during a stressful week. Dreams may be the mind's way of entertaining you or processing information and images. It's like your brain needs to catch up on some work, so it does a little overtime. Apparently mine was very far behind and had to pull an all-nighter. Can't say I blame it; there's a lot going on (again) and too many decisions to make. But these feature-film length sequences did nothing to ease my nerves:

A bathrobe-clad Tom Arnold talking about molesting one of my younger employees and flashing his goods at me while buying my car because I can't afford to keep it.

My mother buying a dilapidated house, with half-finished bathrooms and leaking ceilings. She buys groceries but when she sets the bags down, the floor caves in. I try to help her, but have to get ready for work. There's no working shower, only a tub, but bats keep trying to attack.

Working with my Aunt and Grandma at a factory where toothless women sit at long picnic tables eating homemade stew and biscuits and talk about how long it's been since they've had their hair set at the beauty parlor.

Having sex with a guy, who gets his first and then keeps making lame excuses why we have to hurry up and get dressed.

Going to work and getting farther and farther behind in tasks as various bosses come by and make me feel bad, scolding me in front of employees.

No wonder I'm so tired. All I want to do is take a nap.

But I won't. I'm too afraid.

Holy Hot Chick Batman!

Batwoman is a lesbian socialite!

As I've said before, I do not know much about the world of comics, but I hope DC does this right. Introducing diverse characters to another area of mainstream entertainment could have positive social influences. (I'm not aware of comics being well-populated with gays and lesbians in the past.) It's already causing debate, and will hopefully prove encouraging.