In Keeping With The Icky Guy Theme

I've seen many dirty, even X-rated t-shirts. Most of them were funny and didn't bother me at all. Today however, I saw a man walking through a store wearing a t-shirt with an 11x14 image of a naked woman giving a naked man a blow job.

And no one said a word. No one batted an eye.
While walking down aisle 12, a photo-transferred image of a woman's naked ass passed within 6 inches of my face, and no one seemed to care. We were either too surprised or too scared. The guy was big and tough, and really, none of us wanted to be his next photo-op.

You can see why I don't have a picture to accompany this post.
Google Images is too refined.
And I didn't think to ask him to pose for my camera phone.

Getting to Know You

Meeting a new boss for the first time is a little unsettling. Sure, he interviewed you over the phone, and you've exchanged a few emails, but this is the first face-to-face meeting, and you want to make a good impression.

Basically, it's like a blind date. A forced set-up.
Especially if you find yourselves sitting at a table with low-lighting after the lunch rush of a local restaurant.

You talk about work, of course. Where the company is coming from, what the new direction is, staffing issues, budgets. At some point you have to share personal details, the things that make you seem like more than just an email address to mail complaints to.

Are you from here?
Have you ever been to this restaurant?
Do you watch Survivor?
Did you catch The Late Show last night?
How about that last mayoral election?
What's your view on global warming?
What's your shoe size, blood type, and mother's maiden name?

It's all part of getting to know you and how you interact.

But when you repeatedly feel the urge to snap your fingers and say "Hey buddy, my eyes are up here. And the last 10 women that walked by that you also mentally scored, my eyes are definitely higher and farther to the left than the parts of their anatomy you were gawking at, so pay attention and pay the bill."

Well, perhaps we know all we need to about each other already.

Banging Whores in DC

The Great Apartment Search is on again.
To avoid exposing you all to negative energy, I will refrain from posting my hostile thoughts on the subject.

However, in disbelief after a few fruitless hours on the main apartment search sites, I tried typing in random rental keywords into Google. Instead of FL apartments, I found this guy's site. Maybe he's a big shot a lot of people know about, but I keep to my own neighborhood in the blogosphere, thankfully.

I found myself clicking a link to a post on renting puppies.
First of all, let me say that I have considered this as an idea myself. For people who live in places with heartless management, it would be fun to get to play with a puppy for a few hours at the park or beach.

If I ever actually saw a puppy renting booth however, I'd be torn between slapping down my $30 and calling the police, because how can you rent a living, cuddly creature out to just anybody? Maybe I'd get my afternoon with the puppy, just to see how they are being treated, before I dialed.

Puppies as a ploy to attract women, oh it works very well. As long as you and your dog don't look like you have rabies and aren't standing next to a van with tinted windows, I'll consider walking up and asking to pet the puppy.

How Topical of Me

I heard a lady explaining to her companion her approach to the subjects of the Dixie Chicks and the "Da Vinci Code".

"You better know how the other person feels before you voice your opinion unless you have time to waste getting a headache."

Not being particularly politically minded and with a only vague sense of spiritual matters, my thoughts on either subject are considered inconsequential by most. Why they don't see it as a prime opportunity to gather another into the fold, I don't know, but I'm glad.

However, I did see "The Da Vinci Code" yesterday and downloaded a few songs from the new Dixie Chicks album today.

When I read "The Da Vinci Code" a few years ago, I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy it. I was introduced to new ideas, symbology, etc. Any book that makes you think and encourages discussion, works for me. And it's fiction. The movie was a B, maybe a B+ I liked it, didn't mind spending the money to see it. There's no Oscar performances in there, but Audrey Tautou is so damn cute, who cares?

I do not care what Natalie Maines said about the President. I find it annoying that over 2 years later it's still making news. From a PR view, it was dumb. But I bet there have been plenty worse things said about him from much more prominent people. It's an opinion, voiced in frustration, at a bad time. The office of the President deserves respect, and yet.... Free speech comes at a price, and that price is probably pretty steep if you're talking about record sales. People completely over-reacted.

Their new album is everything the reviews are saying: More mature, introspective, requiring multiple-listens to fully appreciate. Not as peppy and fun as their past albums, it is very strong vocally and musically. It's personal and powerful, and yes a little sad and bitter. Ignore the politics, focus on the music.

In my inconsequential opinion, of course.

3000 Miles Through a Windshield or.....

3000 Miles Looking at the Ass of a Uhaul.
Photo Log Part One

Thank You, Please Blast Thru

Impressive sky, isn't it? Wait till you see the next set of shots.

(I haven't been satisfied with any of my blogging attempts this week, so maybe I'll stick with pictures for a while and be a little more consistent.)

Where's My Address Book....

Location, Location, Location

I'm obsessed I tell ya, obsessed!

Zillow - it's worse than IMDB

Almost.

The Travel Game

The Word Association Version:

Uhaul - small, yet very thirsty
Boxes - there is no way I own this much crap
Furniture - scratched, heavy, never again
Armadillos - quickest way to reincarnation
Rats - one very big one
Windshield - covered in bees!
Coolant - leaking
Gas - $1200
Rest Areas - varied
Weigh Stations - closed

Toyota - rocks (MPG indeed)
Phone - wait, is that a dial tone?!
Work - confusing
Laptop - Thank God
Cell Phones - maybe we should charge those
ATMs - handy, and this one gives $10 bills, Wow!
Holiday Inn Express - worth it, every time
Money Orders - antiquated
Luggable Loo - 5 stars, but don't ask
McDonald's - under construction and please, not again

California Coast - already missed
Remaining California - Hot, wasted space
Carrie Underwood - Oklahoma Billboard Queen
Desert - shudder
Arizona Roads - well maintained
Flagstaff - lovely
Arkansas - pretty, but scary
New Mexico - no thanks
Drive-thru Panda Express - redeems New Mexico
Humidity - well, my hair likes it

Walkie Talkies - FCC will be sending a bill
Deliverance - made it out alive
Kerosene - at the pump
Montgomery, AL - least crowded shopping centers ever
Little Rock - jet of fire by the interstate
Alabama - bring out yer dead!
Texas Cows - segregated
Oklahoma Cows - gas station attendants
300 - pictures taken from behind the steering wheel
Wal-Mart Super Centers - well, it is the south and they are everywhere
Washer and Dryer - in the apartment! Freedom!
Air Conditioning - priceless

So, the South really is different.
I knew this, but was reminded just how different while rolling through a larger portion than I had previously been exposed to.
Some of these word associations really warrant further explanation. And sadly, there are a lot of post-worthy things already forgotten.