Because You Should Know If You'll Be Having Nightmares About The Shower Scene In Psycho

Why don't hotels feel it worthwhile to include pictures of bathrooms in their online photo galleries?

I find it very frustrating to search through a hotel's photos and not be able to find an example of the surfaces I will be placing parts of my naked body. It is important to know if there's a tub or a walk-in shower. If there is a sink outside the bathroom as well as in. If there is room to turn around in the shower as well as outside.

So, for anyone who may be searching for hotels in Barstow, CA, let me tell you that the Holiday Inn Express on Lenwood Road, just off I-15, is excellent. A tasty and free breakfast, an impressive lobby, pleasant guest room furnishings and a very spacious and stylish bathroom with flattering lighting, a large shower, long granite-style counter top and soothing colors. Because there is nothing I hate more than a WHITE hotel bathroom. Well, maybe a blue or green hotel bathroom, but that's a whole other thing.

Seriously, a little cherrywood veneer, faux-marble tiles, some chrome drawer pulls and a soft cream or taupe shower curtain is not going to break the bank and will make the hotel seem more luxurious than it really is.

It's all about illusion, people.

If I can find a picture of said hotel/bathroom, I will post it, but I don't think we had the camera out on our first stop of the cross-country trip. Mostly I took pictures of empty fields and big sky. Anyone who says the US has no great spaces left has not traveled through the west. Not that I'd want to live in these unsettled spaces, but that may be the point.

And If You Tell Anyone, I'll Deny It Completely

I miss California.
Dooce is blogging about LA, damn her, and with the heat, the humidity and all the other woe-is-me going on, it's enough to make me forget all the reasons we decided to move in the first place.

But it could just be the Sudafed PE talking - working with the public makes me sick.

We're planning a CA visit for April 2008, money permitting of course. Once I crunched the numbers, I briefly debated whether I'd enjoy a plasma tv more. Travel is not cheap. Then of course there's always Vegas instead. No ocean tho, but I've been told we have the ocean around Florida. Who knew? All I've seen are horses. But with Vegas there's the promise of sin, and who doesn't need more of that in their lives? If you're gonna throw away money, might as well enjoy it!

But it could just be the Travel Channel talking - someone got paid the big bucks for a full day of peddling the glamorous side of Sin City this past week.

Brought To You By....

Let's face it, any place as hot, humid and overgrown as Florida will spawn all manner of expletive-worthy creepy crawlies. After (cough) years as a resident, I'm still not accustomed to the bird-sized mosquitoes you nickname as they feast, the palmetto bugs that show off their 4 ft wingspan as you approach.

However, I've managed to abide by the Usurper Treaty of Long Long Ago, protecting myself with the Live and Let Live, Unless You Scare Me clause of Section B, Part 2. I'm also a big fan of the Leave No Bug Behind Program. If there are no bugs left, who can scurry back and tell the rest of the army what just went down?

With the summer comes the bugs. And swarming, flying, stinging baddies too. Luckily our pest control is pretty good at the apartment. Or so I thought. (cue dramatic music)

As these stories often start, I was just sitting here, minding my own business (and yours, because I've been doing a little blog-hopping tonight) when I detected movement on the wall across from the desk. Blending easily in the shadows thrown by little desk lamp, was a spider. A very big spider. A very spastic, apparently caffeinated spider the size of my fist, scurrying around like it had disco fever.
Or Restless Leg Syndrome.

We're not talking Daddy Longlegs size either. This was a full on "Bob-Put-the-Kids-in-the-Mini-Van" sized spider. The kind you don't dare take your eyes off of until you absolutely have to because you know as soon as you look away it's going to hide somewhere you can't find it and come in the night to carry you into the Forbidden Forest.

Luckily, we had the Ultra SpyderMate 3000 within easy reach. That's right, this model is lighter, faster and easier to clean than the previous 2200 model. The Ultra SpyderMate 3000 (known as the Evercare Large Lint Roller in some locations) makes bug killing a dignified process. The sticky tape makes quick work of the offending pest while the 3 ft reach of the handle provides a neutral buffer zone. Just keep a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser handy. Because, you know.... residue.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to play find the spider before I can fall asleep tonight. These types always travel in pairs.

The ABP Put Out An APB

Dear Blogger,

Thank you for remembering me, when apparently I could not even remember myself. Nor my password. Or the email address I used to set up this account. Thank you for blog-sitting all these many months. You even sprayed for spam! What a doll. The time away has made me appreciate you and the service, the outlet you provide, even more.

Unfortunately, I cannot lay any claim to the betterment of mankind while I have been away. No curing of disease or making of peace. I've just been a lazy bizzle. You understand, don't you Blogger? I'm not your first inattentive poster, am I? What with your automatic draft saving capabilities and simpleton friendly design, I bet you have thousands, possibly millions of bloggers vying for your attentions. Don't you? DON'T YOU???

But I digress. I've come to let you know that until I am released from the Apathetic Blogger Program (you didn't call them on me, did you sweetie?) I will only be allowed the occasional guest post on Etcher's blog. (Guess now I know he's been moonlighting with the ABP. All those nights I wondered, staying up late, watching the clock, waiting for the call.....) But you'll put in a good word for me, won't you baby? You know I want to come back. Don't forget me!

Until then,
Cindy

On Hiatus

As if you couldn't tell.

Only one of us at a time, so I fully expected everyone else to keep to their regular updating schedule.

"But see here, I rigged one of 'em safety re-straints, Officer."

You've Heard It All Before

start rant

I cannot take one more fucking thing being outsourced to India or another country where the primary language is not ENGLISH. If I cannot understand what the person handling my customer service question is telling me, then you are NOT meeting my needs, the needs of the customer. This ESPECIALLY applies to my banking, stocks, credit cards, or anything else of a financial manner.

end rant