Agatha Christie and the Desk Chair Murders

Here's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The tools are mine, so yes, my fingerprints were on them. I was attempting (slowly, but surely) to assemble the deskchair in question. STANLEY is an ex-boyfriend; that's a tattoo on my palm. A strange and painful place for one yes, but I was young, and in love, and it seemed like a good idea at 2:00 am in Tijuana.

STANLEY (all caps, just like on his birth certificate) came sniffing around last night. Said he just wanted to talk. One thing leads to another; he starts making fun of my chair building inabilities. I got a little angry, and yes, I did throw the various parts, but it was not pre-meditated! A crime of passion is what this is! And the chair isn't even broken, in fact, I'm sure it could easily be put together.
Just maybe not by me.

And they let me out on bail based on that story, can you believe it?

Spotchlander - dress all in black and we shall rendezvous at 21:00 hours. Bring gloves. I'll hold the flashlight and stay out of your way. We'll either clear my name, or take Kato's suggestion and create a work of modern office art, splitting the money.

If something should happen however - Sunny, perhaps when you come to visit, you would be so kind as to bake a cake for me? You know, one with a file inside? Or maybe Paulius could rig me up some sort of Ikea lock-picking wonder? Better yet, how about a lawyer?